Fifty Three: Blago Tax Withholding

Obviously, something must be done about the bizarre situation in Illinois to get rid of Governor Blago. Even for a corruption ridden culture like Chicago, Blago's criminal enterprises are setting new standards, not only for bad acts, but for blatant stupidity as well. What was once known as the "Second City" is fast becoming the "City of Idiots." Pity the poor souls who voted for Blago, not once, but twice!

The state constitutional processes for dealing with the situation have devolved into chaos. Politics has prevented a special election from taking place, because Democrats do not want to risk a secure Senate seat. The Illinois Supremes were petitioned to step into the void but demurred (those officials are elected to their positions, and thus susceptible to the same political pressures as the state legislators).

I propose a financial driven solution: Effective immediately, all payers of Illinois income and sales tax should direct payment of these taxes into an escrow account. The funds would be frozen in this account until Blago is removed from office. In the same way that the Federal Reserve takes over a failed bank, the Department of Justice could declare the entire state government a criminal enterprise and appoint a federal receiver (czar) to oversee state operations, similar to what was done in Iraq after Saddam was toppled.

It's radical, but what the hell?, nothing else seems to be working.

Fifty Two: Charlie Rangel's Christmas Present

Charlie Rangel is the luckiest politicians alive this week, and he should be sending Rod Blagojavich a huge thank you for Rod taking Charlie out of the spotlight as "Sleaziest & Stupidest & Most Arrogant Politician in the World (at least for the moment)." Charlie and Rod both displayed their idiotic paucity of tact by getting caught doing what politicians do every day - leveraging their positions and power for personal gain.

The difference thus far between these two dopes, is that Rod has spent his poltical career gleefully burning bridges, insulting friends and family, sporting one of the worst hairstyles in the 21st century. Charlie, while also not exactly one of the best coiffed politicos, has apparently not pissed off as many people as Rod. Charlie is also of course African American, which makes him less of a target in our hyper-sensitive politcally correct culture.

Finally, of course the national press is loathe to cover any story which could reflect badly on St. Barack, but the Blagojavich just couldn't be ignored. And because African Americans typically do not participate at the highest levels of Chicago graft, St. Barack gets a pass on this particular mess. So, both Rangel and BO will slide away from Rod and live to practice their trades another day.

Fifty One: Blago Speaks The Truth

If I were defending Blago, my defense would be The Truth. Everything that Blago allegedly said is true. Having the power to appoint a U.S. senator is a "valuable thing." And any politician who wields that power expects to "get something" in return. These are true facts that every adult knows to be true. Blago's mistake was getting caught uttering the truth on recordings made by the FBI. Of course Blago's other mistake was in pissing off practically every politican in Illinois with his particularly obnoxious brand of arrogance. But as to his supposed "corruption", I submit that virutally every poltician is "corrupt" in the sense that they never do anything in the public interest. They always do what is their own personal self interest and tell the voters bald-faced lies about their motivation. We all know this. If polticians were the selfless public servants they wish us to believe, we would have had term limits on Congress long ago. Instead, we have a House and Senate full of essentially high class welfar recipients.

Blago of course is screwed due to his stupidity. But he's no different from the rest of them.

Fifty: Ted Turner For Car Czar

Apparently, the politicians are going to give money to the autos, and of course politicians do things for political reasons, which is to say for their own personal advancement or to secure their next election. So, that horse is out of the barn. However, in order to justify giving away more of our (the taxpayers) money, the politicians will appoint some oversight body. My pick to head this oversight board is Ted Turner. Ted is probably one of least political citizens alive in this country today. He is also one helluva businessman. He doesn't need any money (he exerts a lot of effort giving money away). He has a reputation (whether deserved or not) which would and should send a shiver down the spine of every "car guy" in the industry.

Anybody second my motion?

Forty Nine: Car Industry Stupidity

How rampant is stupidity in the American automobile industry? If you need to ponder that question for more than two seconds, you either, a) have never purchased a car, or b) are employed in the car business. Everyone not directly or indirectly in "the business" ( and this applies to sycophants like Phil LeBeau at CNBC), sees the industry for what it is - a broken down hulk of festering problems which have compounded as a result of relentless management inbreeding, producing the current generation of severely intelligence-challenged manufacturing executives, dealers, and groupies (that's you again, Phil).

The only good news in the current situation is that eventually, despite the political triage which will triumph over common sense, the laws of economics will win out, and these bastions of stupidity will consume and waste all available resources and die. Waggoner and his ilk will then be forced into either investment banking or politics.