234: Psaki Presser

Question:  What did Prez Biden have for breakfast?

Psaki:  First, let me begin by saying that I am the smartest person in the room, and as you know, we only allow the President to have pablum as it is the most age-appropriate meal for him.

Question:  Why did the Prez lie about not hearing any criticism from Euro allies about the chaos in Afghanistan?

Psaki: First, let me begin by saying that I am the smartest person in DC, and as you know, when we hear what you call "criticism" we interpret as "praise."

Question:  Why does the Prez continue to support General Milley after he ordered a drone strike that killed seven children, and demonstrated utter disdain for the chain of command?

Psaki: First, let me begin by saying that I am the smartest person in the country, and as you know, we deeply regret the unavoidable loss of these seven biological units, but heh, it's not like they were going to become diplomats or high ranking government spokespersons.

Question:  Why does the Veep only get horse shit assignments guaranteed to fail?

Psaki:  First, let me begin by saying that I am the smartest person on the planet, and as you know, we picked a half black birthing person strictly as a token.  Besides, we don't want voters to get the idea that there is a ready and energetic alternative to a geriatric and senile head of cauliflower.

Question:  Have you ever been asked a question to which you replied, "I don't know?"

Psaki: First, let me begin by saying that, as you are well aware, my smug opinion of myself would never allow any hint of anything less than total command of the facts, whether I know them or not, on any subject which could conceivably be brought to my attention by any of you lesser and ignorant rubes, who could not possibly understand my superiority.

End of presser.